Next Ritual: Corvallis, Oregon
Hi – Grisha & Alison here. To join the waitlist for Sep 14, please us the contact form below. To be notified of upcoming events, including Corvallis on November 30, please join the Mailing list.
Some of the Many Benefits of Community Grief Rituals
There’s so much power to shift what’s been stuck when we really feel our grief, without pretense or distraction. Sobbing, keening, raging… Not to wallow in it, but to experientially witness and complete the process, so it’s not frozen inside of our bodies, keeping us from shining our light.
Grief rituals also serve as a way to honor the griefs we carry, whatever they may be. For example, a beloved person/dog/cat/horse/other being who has passed away, the ongoing harm to planet on which we live, losses you have experienced, love you did not receive, ancestral grief, the multi-faceted harm of systemic oppression, or the harm you may have done to others as an individual or collectively, like the harms of colonialism, white supremacy, or human supremacy.
“Grieving is a way to say yes to life. When we grieve, we let out the toxins, so that we can embrace life again. When we don’t grieve, our creativity becomes dim or almost nonexistent.
But when we grieve, especially when we grieve together as a community, there’s almost a like magic that happens in the dance of the community and the individual, where the gift begins to flow, and the people can begin to drink from the Well of this gift so that they can begin to heal together and know the value of what we’re bringing.”
– Sobunfu Somé, The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships
We all carry grief.
Community grief rituals are a supportive environment where people come together to share grief, knowing that we are not alone in our pain.
Your grief is Beautiful.
Grief rituals allow for the expression of emotions in a safe and non-judgmental space. This emotional release can be cathartic and help people process individual and collective grief.
Yes, all of it.
We will create a specific and safer container where people can openly cry, scream, or express their feelings in ways that may not be as readily accepted in other settings.
Closure & Acceptance
Through the collective support and shared experiences, people can find solace, strength, and a renewed sense of hope. Grief work empowers more empathy.
Fostering Community
Witnessing others in their grief allows us to deeply know that we are not alone. It fosters a sense of belonging and connection within the community, as we release anger, blame, shame, and sorrow in our tears.
Intergenerational Healing
This ritual is rooted in the teachings of Sobonfu Somé and Malidoma Somé of the the Dagara people in Burkina Faso (whose elders and ancestors insisted they bring grief ritual to the West), with inspirations from Laurence Cole, Francis Weller, Alexandra Blakely, and Fernanda Samambaia, among others.
20% of donations for our grief rituals go directly to the Dagara Empowerment Water Project.
What is Community Grief Ritual?
Your Tears Are Precious Here
Grief ritual is a chance to express your deepest sorrow and pain with the witness of a trusting community, so you can somatically shift that grief you’ve been carrying.
Grief is part of being human, and we aren’t meant to do this alone.
What is Ritual?
Ritual is an opportunity to connect to something larger than ourselves, whatever that means to you.
In Community Grief work, the ritual is simply time and space to mourn together, with the support of other participants, who are singing. (And don’t worry if you’re not comfortable singing).
Keening, Sobbing, Raging
We have been taught to grieve alone in Western society. Having a deep embodied experience of being in grief with others present is potent and it’s different from just talking through it.
What Our Grief Retreats Look Like
We incorporate singing, brief writing exercises, grief education, honor to and requests for support from our ancestors, and a chance to be witnessed during the deep grief ritual portion. These elements can bring comfort, meaning, and a sense of continuity to your grieving process.
We offer community grief ritual with the intention of mending the various rifts and tears that humans incur along the way, individually and systemically. Our intention is that this space be as nourishing and easeful as possible for this vulnerable and challenging work.
It is our belief that intentional grieving is desperately needed in these times, for our own hearts and the collective. Grief work is essential for the shifts needed for global equity and justice, and for each person’s unique gifts to be received.
We’d like to name that we are women of European ancestry who are holding space in the Dagara tradition, a Black technology for grief as a transformative process. Grisha is bisexual and neurodivergent. Alison is straight and neurotypical. Both of us are cisgender and ablebodied.
It’s our intention throughout this event to empower you to be clear with your requests and boundaries and we are continually open to feedback. For example, at some point we will break into triads for sharing and witnessing. It may be helpful to dive deep with someone who has experienced some of the same systemic harm. Alternatively, it can be helpful to witness or be witnessed outside of your affinity group (PGM, trans, queer, neurodivergent, disabled, female, etc.).
We’ll ask you as a group if any of you prefer your triad/pair to be an identity affinity group, assuming there’s more than one present. If you’d rather tell us in advance, please do. If you’re white-bodied and wanting to share your grief about the harms of white supremacy in an all-white group, or male-bodied and wanting to grieve toxic masculinity in an all male affinity group. Doing so can be helpful to not overburden folks who have already been harmed by oppression.
It is our hope that people of all backgrounds will honor and benefit from this space with their presence. We want to name that we are aware it can be challenging for bodies of the global majority to feel safe in a space facilitated by white-bodied people. Same goes for transfolks in a cisgender held container. Thank you for your trust. ❤️
We are putting out a call to the universe for long-term collaboration and connection with our queer and PGM grieftending siblings. If service contributes to your sense of belonging, we’re also happy to have volunteers. Your presence in a support role could be especially helpful for attendees from marginalized populations.
Learn more about us here.
“At the core of this grief is our longing to belong. It assures our safety and our ability to extend out into the world with confidence. It was in this setting that we emerged as a species. It was in this setting that what we require to become fully human was established.”
Francis Weller
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief
The witnessing of the community has the capacity to act like scissors that cut us away from unhealthy ties, so we can rewire ourselves in the way we should be wired, to say ‘yes, I’m alive, finally, again!’”
Sobunfu Somé