When you share your grief out in the default world, sometimes folks are not yet ready to face their own grief and will respond with toxic positivity, often meant to be helpful compassion:
“It’s all going to be ok, think positively…here’s a tissue.”
Here’s a video by Megan Devine with advice for how to help friends who are grieving.
I found this video especially helpful in the early stages of grieving the death of my husband, Brice. Sharing it to friends and family helped them know how to support me (and ultimately ended up probably helping them, too).
Acknowledgement and witnessing is helpful for small and big griefs. The work of a griever is to bridge the gap of reality and expectation, between what is wanted and what is, coming to a place of fully acknowledging the truth of what has happened or is happening. To witness our own experience.
We can help friends who are grieving by witnessing them, not deflecting by cheering them up or otherwise turning away from their (or or our) sorrow, pain, or other emotions.
Here’s the link for the video above that you can share to your support circle: https://youtu.be/l2zLCCRT-nE?si=7GcWzPTEnxSPxUId